we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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