Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize