When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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