When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
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Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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