She said her name was "party"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
