he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
