And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize