Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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