I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
