I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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