you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
