thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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