Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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