i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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