I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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