At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
