What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
