i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
