i just had sex bonerless
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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