I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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