I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
