Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
