You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
