Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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