I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
