I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
