Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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