Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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