Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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