So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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