This girl is more easily done than said...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The air was thick with penises
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
