i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
