and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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