She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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