I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
