I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I am morally bankrupt
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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