Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dick very happy bro
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
