I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wish there were birth control emojis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
