At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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