I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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