you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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