what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just blew my weed a kiss
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
