If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
