I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How external is "for external use only"?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
