Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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