We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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