i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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