Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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