i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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