Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
