I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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