but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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