you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I had to cum in my sink.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
