And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
