I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
