: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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