Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize