you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
