just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
