i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
