I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
