he puts the penis in happiness.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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