32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
