We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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