if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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