So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you win again, gameday.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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