i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
